Calvin Gaka: Life Hacks

3 Timeless Keys To Making Your Relationship Work… and Strengthening It

Cupid Valentines Day

Cupid (Relationship Principles)

3 Timeless Keys To Making Your Relationship Work… and Strengthening It


Experiencing great love empowers you to revolutionise almost every dynamic of your life. Hence, leading to Valentine’s Day I just wanted to quickly share these three timeless evolutionary relationship principles for anybody and everybody (those in a relationship and those who want to be/ will be in a relationship) that if applied will most probably transform any relationship for the better if not make it a breath of fresh air.

Of course this is by no means an exhaustive list, though it is a hop, skip, step and a leap in a positive and progressive direction. “Creating a real relationship that will transform your life may not just happen,” though you have “the power to find , create and develop the love of a lifetime.” All you need is the willingness and openness to embrace this special opportunity.

Remember keep on doing what you did in the beginning and it will never end.


Hunger = Effort (in most cases)

“Most at the beginning of a relationship are hungry and are willing to do ANYTHING” – Tony Robbins

1) Focusing on yourself destroys a relationship…


A relationship, an intimate relationship is where you go to give, a place of giving and offering. It is not a place where you go to get things.

As you increasingly focus on yourself the more you make the other person feel less important, less worthy and less worthwhile.

Weakening of a relationship naturally occurs when anyone involved in the relationship focuses on what’s in it for themselves/ what are they getting out of the deal.

If you focus on what you are getting you are always going to be disappointed, and many times is an indicator the relationship maybe in trouble. Naturally and authentically Love is something you just give freely, without qualifying criteria.



Relationship Principles


2) Bring the best version of yourself to the relationship…


– Cut out the negative voice, the negative stories, the negative self talk in your head. The voice that makes you doubt, the voice that makes you assume, the voice that makes you say “Why should l …” The story in your head you are allowing to mould your moods and attitudes is worse than actual life and is easily more damaging.

– Cut out the judging and criticising too quickly (all together if you can). Sometimes think twice

Never assume always ask for clarity

Sometimes somethings are not about you

– Cut out the fear of failing, being too practical, lowering expectations all to avoid failure is in a sense missing the point of relationships. Relationships are inherently risky though you may end up having an average relationship if you let the fear of failure and shame creep into your thinking. Failure is needed for valuable insights, though realise fear will only do ONE thing... hold you back !

– Cut out the fear of success, if you get nervous when things are going well, handle success by staying authentic, remember who you are, stay humble and grateful… an attitude of gratitude.

– Be honest.

– Be each other’s safe place. Have a world of your own just the two of you, “somewhere” only you go. Anything and everything is shared in the safe place, from the dark, deceptive and misconstrued to secretly watching Teletubbies at work… only acceptance and understanding exist here (The Safe Place) *The safe place may take awhile to establish.

– Be supportive, this has countless forms, for example; asking how things are going, staying up with your partner whilst they work on their presentation or volunteering with them to support a cause close their heart.

– Be Self Aware.

Being aware of your wants and your needs (hopefully realistic). If you don’t know them that’s okay, be willing to explore and find out. Keeping in mind no one knows everything, do you pretend and act like you know everything ? as opposed to remaining teachable, honest with an open mind and heart.

Alone do you represent you and your relationship with dignity and respect ? Or do you make what could be hurtful decisions ? Do your actions and choices align and support your relationship ?

Indeed, work on yourself, though not for the other person (they do reap the benefits) though rather for yourself, BE AWESOME. Consider yourself given permission and licensed if you did not think so before. Listen, Learn Read. In everything you do your words, your kiss, your actions do it from the heart, do it from a place of Love. Bring the best version of yourself.

“Together who you’ve been for each other, you wouldn’t be able to be without each other”


Saving a relationship


3) K.I.S.S.
Keep It Simple Silly…


Be yourself, authentically you. Make sure you express as many parts of yourself in your relationship as possible and enjoy it.


“Love like you’ve never been hurt, forgive as though it’s your first time.”

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(Below is my affiliate link, and I can confidently recommend this program as myself and many others have reaped several of its benefits in making my relationship with my wife significantly better )

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  1. Sikapa

    This is really nice.

  2. Pingback: How to Breakthrough to a New Level (Especially when you feel things are just staying the same)

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