What’s Wrong With You and How To Fix It: A Mindset Shift for Success
Upon going through life’s phases and cycles, you have wanted something specific or you may have wanted more from your life and yet it seems you can’t have more. You feel the yearning inside you, you feel innate potential. However, somehow you are not positioned correctly for the breakthrough you want. Rather, alternatively you simply don’t have what you want out of life even though you don’t specifically know what you do want from this life.
First things first… Nothing is wrong with you, I repeat nothing is wrong with you. No one, nobody is dumb, broken, stupid or out of favor. You may temporarily be going through a rough phase of life, a confusing cycle, a training period of life to learn or apply or both learn and apply specific principles (Usually patience and perseverance though everybody is different). More so the case with most is that they don’t know what motivates them. they don’t know what gets them going and especially what us worthy of them. Hence nothing about you needs to be fixed as such. You are complete as you are, you have everything you need to take you to your next step in your journey. Wherever you decide to go that is. Sometimes we may FEEL inadequate, or feel we need or are lacking something outside of ourselves.
Trust yourself, believe in yourself. Open your eyes, your awareness to being before doing. Maybe somewhere along the line you picked up some beliefs that weren’t and aren’t true of yourself. Possibly along the way you unknowingly absorbed stories that misrepresented the dynamic realities of life and made you set rigid “rules” or a blockade of “boundaries.” Possibly through necessity you had to adopt stances or attitudes that once served you though now have you constantly viewing the world and more importantly your life and where you can go through a progression minimizing filter. Whatever the case, for one reason or another you don’t know what you want and are experiencing a small spectrum of life’s fullness or even life’s toughness as a result of the filter you have placed on yourself and your life.
People would know what they want if they believed they could have it. Though, when you ask someone “…what do you want?” They only answer based on a filter of what they believe they can have. These limiting beliefs of what they can have are often wrong, and are by no means the peak of the persons potential.
If you can get past the filter of what you think you can have and get into your true self… your true authentic self.
True Authentic Self…
You were validated the day you were born – Melissa Joy Jonsson
Your true self… Where your true desires, wants, needs lie.. where YOU lie. Where loving and honoring your self is not selfish, rather its simply self-is.
M.J. Jonsson posits with the concept of True Authentic Self that as individuals, we can make a powerful choice to embrace integrity, the integrity of who we truly are. When we embody that integrity, a heart driven logical consistency more than often follows. This integrity creates a clear connection established with limitless possibilities. Allowing for all that we are already to effortlessly unfold, with all that we are meant to be… come.
“I am unfolding daily in each moment, letting go of who I was a moment ago, so I can embrace more of who I am be-coming now.” – M.J. Jonsson
Furthermore, a key unintentionally overlooked to self-authenticity, lies in questioning everything we think/ believe to be true. Questioning reaps the ripe harvest of our mind, body and soul’s awareness to recondition our possibly now dated constructs of perspective into a more flexible and flowing being consciousness. In embracing the questioning of the very life and lifestyle we have intentionally or unintentionally created for ourselves, this movement of awareness, allows us to realise we are free. Not only free to choose again more intentionally, though free to choose more intelligently (having learnt from mistakes, the abundance or the lack of experience). We are free to be… that which is truly you and me.
The True Authentic Self (TAS) expands beyond the authentic self in that every moment is an opportunity to grow into more of what you are becoming, rather than remaining who you have been. It is not something that happens suddenly one day. It is a process that is always unfolding, refining, and expanding. The TAS stumbles, learns from the stumble, and gets right back up. – M.J. Jonsson
*Perception of Potential
The Calling Your True Self Can Reveal…
If you have a yearning, a feeling that something should be better…
“This shouldn’t be this hard” or “This shouldn’t be this way.” Usually more than often this is a signal that there is a vision and you can make, a vision you can contribute to the entire field or industry you want to serve.
These phrases “it should be better”, “this shouldn’t be this is hard”, “this sucks”, these are the seeds. The actual seeds for a better future. If you can cultivate that (the actual authentic feelings of dissatisfaction). That will be the change you can bring for everyone in that realm or industry.
Cherish those feelings, and allow them to be the raw reference you create and interact with the problem from. The genuine passion, honest unclouded intent, will naturally resonate from you and will set you apart…
“Speak to your strengths and not to your weaknesses”
On a side note, if and when you are an employer, entrepreneur or leader cultivate a culture where people see themselves become their best. A place where you go to become their highest self. Where people see their imprint of their unique gift and their creativity in their work. Not only are you building a better person, you are building a better future. As traditionally the concept of human capital is both underestimated and undervalued.
“Write to be understood, speak to be heard, read to grow.” – Lawrence Clark Powell
Usually you can’t take effective action using reality /practicality as a framework.
(Usually to overcome something , something new needs to be created. Hence reality/ practicality wouldn’t support what doesn’t exist, currently).
Your willingness to feeling that uncomfortable feeling or yearning = your effectiveness to do something about it. There is a totally fine fantasy world, where you don’t feel that and don’t need to feel that. The only problem is that IT LEADS NOWHERE. Sometimes easy in some realms gets you nowhere, as typically growth is experienced in experiencing and overcoming challenges (Growth is experienced outside of your comfort zone). Though what if you could be comfortable with change, constant change? What if we could be comfortable with constantly stepping out of our comfort zone ? I believe that for the most part that would make growing/ growth easy or at least a little easier ? Wouldn’t it ?
If you want to go somewhere, advance a field or even your professional or personal life, you may need to shift your mindset. You need to feel what’s actually here. In order to improve on something that currently exists take off your filter. Unbeknownst to us as humans we have propensity to delete, distort, generalize and disregard information (filter). The following breakdown and explanation of human filters is taken from an NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programing) perspective as NLP is one of if not the superior behavioural modification technique not only with a proven track record of success, though also a proven ecological valid background of research. Tad James says we have five primary filters. Our Meta-Programs, Values, Beliefs, Memories, and Decisions.
The 5 Primary Filters…
(The first filter) John David Hoag insists they determine which perceptions are selected for attention. Furthermore, they are mental processes at a higher level than (meta to) the mental processes they affect. Naturally meta-programs can be compared to a switchboard that controls which two telephones will be connected to each other for the process of having a conversation, or a thermostat which controls whether your air conditioning system is turned on or off.
(The second filter) Are things that are important to us. Research shows that values are how we as people decide whether our actions are good or bad, right or wrong. In addition, values are a high level generalisation that describe that which is important to you. They are essentially a filter. How we decide, how we feel about our actions. Furthermore, they guide our every decision and therefore our destiny.
(The third filter) Are generalisations about how the world is. Your beliefs are so powerful to the extent that they determine your life, especially your quality of life. Beliefs are the presuppositions that we have about the way the world is that either allow, create or deny us personal power. Effectively, they are our on/off switch for our ability to do anything in the world. It is important to understand our beliefs as they explain why we choose to do what we do.
Beliefs are the second set of internal filters. Beliefs are convictions, what is held to be ‘true’ in life. For example, if someone believes that she can learn anything that she puts her mind to regardless of age or expectation. Then her experience of life is going to be very different from someone else who believes he is not that smart and can’t possibly learn something new.
Often beliefs form the boundary conditions of thinking. Depending on how much individuals are unwilling to believe is possible, beliefs can either keep them boxed in (stuck), or allow them to live a bigger life. Thinking small, small possibility thinking has little chance of providing anything other than small results. Similarly, big thinking can often lead to gaining big results. When transformed or a mindset shift occurs, beliefs allow people to fulfill their highest potential and their greatest success.
“Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet”
(The fourth filter) Naturally, various psychologists say that the present plays a part in our behavior. However, they believe that as we get older, our reactions in the present are more and more just reactions to gestalts (collections of memories that are organized in a certain way) of past memories (Time Line Therapy® masterfully developed by Tad James can be used as a professional resource. A resource to positively influence the feelings and associations we make from our memories for our success and advancement).
(The fifth filter) The fifth filter is the decisions that we have made in our past. Decisions may create new beliefs, or may just affect our perceptions through time. The issue with many decisions we make is that they were made either unconsciously or at a very young age (very long ago and far away), and are forgotten. Though, the effect is still there. We can also make changes to the limiting decisions in our past using NLP techniques such as Time Line Therapy (as mentioned earlier).
These five filters will determine how we internally represent and process an event that is occurring now. It is our internal representation that puts us in a certain state, and creates a certain physiology. The state in which we find ourselves, will determine our behavior.
Research reveals these five filters determine how we internally process and represent events or an event that is happening now. It is our internal representation that places us in a specific states, and produces a specific physiology. The state in which we find ourselves, will determine our behavior. All of these factors play an integral role as to how we process information from the outside world.
The reality of now – may give you the discomfort of where you want to go. You can’t take effective action if you aren’t looking at reality.
There are aspects of reality that are unpleasant. All the things you haven’t looked at before take stock of them and be open to your hearts true desires whatever they look like…
~ The Trap of More ~
More is comparing what is here and what doesn’t exist, and seeing what’s here as inadequate. As much as we advocate for growth, for the new, for more we should have satisfying motivational and inspirational strategies (depending on the type of person you are, these will vary) that acknowledge being here and experiencing the beauty of now. Being Present.
*A key example of these motivation strategies is as simple a holiday or a getaway…. treating yourself to your favourite food or even spending time with loved ones, nearest and dearest.
“The secret of happiness, you see, is not found in seeking more, but in developing the capacity to enjoy less.” ~ Socrates
If we miss, avoid or disregard our present reality we can’t be truly grateful (and the power of gratitude is a literally life and game changing revelation). We can not truly capitalise on the present opportunities and experience the true beauty of what has been created, as well as what we create if we disregard the present. Ultimately we may end up constantly chasing what doesn’t exist, and that is not leading a satisfying life. In addition, this to an extent underestimates and devalues everyone and everything around you now. Upon creating what didn’t exist we may progress to even further undervalue the present and re-engage and return to being engrossed in the chase for more and the experience of more.
We must be flexible and versatile, we must “…be like water” ~ Bruce Lee
The future isn’t here yet, the past is gone. Be happy now.
Drop the uneven pursuit of more, drop what isn’t here now, in favor of what is here and haven’t seen.
The crux of this post is not to say we should not seek more though rather its to emphasize the rhythm of life. To give life and continue giving life a healthy heart contracts and expands, contracts and relaxes and those motions define a heathy beating heart. As every heart has its rhythm I bid you to be well and prosper. Work smart, work and execute hard, remember to have that conscious awareness to feel and be in this moment and every other moment that follows. Experience the power and multiplication of now. You have greatness inside you. You can have anything you want only if you believe you can. Right now, and in the now’s that follow (the future now’s) believe you can and rhythmically execute every action in confidence of that belief.
“You must go beyond, to the place where a million gurus cannot preach to you, where the gods cannot favor you, and the social media trolls cannot touch you.
Venture deep within yourself. You must pass through questioning, perception, and judgment, and go directly to Truth. Wash your thoughts of memes, conditioning, and delusion – and simply reside in the basic essence of who you really are.
Earning a million (or a few billion) dollars won’t make you great. Having your video or Facebook post go viral won’t make you great. Even having someone famous (or great) declare you as great won’t make you so.
The most exalted sage won’t increase your greatness, nor will the most inspirational book. Even accomplishing that achievement you worked so hard on will not do the trick. Your greatness will come when you stand firm, breathe deep, and tap the inherent power you already possess.
Your greatness is unleashed when you simply accept it, and decide to become it.” – Randy Gaga
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